Archive for November, 2009

Absurdity

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

The thing is to stay sober in an unjust, absurd world.  The thing is never mentioned by Camus et al because they lacked spiritual depth:  the absurd world was crafted by an equally absurd God.  The latest issue of National Geographic has a cover story:  “New Orleans:  Should They Rebuild?”  Which certainly shows just how much we can believe in “technology” and its ability to “save us.”

I learned this at my mother’s knee.  At our house, absurdity was a family value.

Assured repeatedly that I could not succeed at what I wanted to do, tacitly assured that what I wanted did not matter, I finally elected to rot in peace.  I never bothered learning to “fit in,” since I never expected to.  I learned how to “be quiet” — be quiet, I discovered, and, mostly, They Will Leave You Alone.  Except for the random high-school sociopath, here and there.  And I do not know to this day how to “fit in” — how to game the system, the crowd.  How to “get on the right side of the Unfairness,” as a friend of mine in the A&A puts it.  The right side of injustice, bigotry, ignorance, brutality, force, etc.  That is the whole art of being Middle Class, and it, as well, is absurd.  It’s absurd if you can’t do it, and it’s absurd if you can (it’s “fitting in” and still suffering).  And I’ve got, in my individual and particular absurdity, to stay sober in these (absurd) conditions, whether I want to or not.

In the universe of Alcoholism, “staying sober” is the ultimate Absurdity.  That makes alcoholism itself only the penultimate Absurdity.  So the thing is to stay sober through an Absurd life.  To act Absurdly when confronted by an Absurd life.  As if God were The Drunk.

In regard to a certain school of the A&A, is it true that I only have “one problem”?  I dont know.  Is it not truer to say that so far I have found only “one solution”?  And that it is far from satisfactory?